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BY DR. GLENN MOLLETTE
How many friends do you have? Possibly more or less than you think.

Your real friends show up when everyone else has walked away.

We have many acquaintances in life but not that many close friends. How many people know you and still love you and want to be around you? So many of our relationships today are surface relationships. People only know your surface. They don’t know your hurts, fears, problems, stresses, failures and so much more.

Most likely your spouse or significant other knows you well and still loves you and is there for you. Most parents are there for their children and grandchildren, but they are family. You don’t really consider them friends because the relationship is deeper and more intimate. However, it’s nice if you feel like you have family who are friends.

A friend will be there regardless of success or failure. They rejoice in your successes and hurt with you in your failures. Real friendship doesn’t hinge on a failure. Friendship supports, helps and communicates. Most of us don’t communicate unless we feel it’s safe to do so. You don’t want to talk to someone who is going to blister you with judgment and condemnation. Although a good friend will listen and try to steer you in the right direction without emotionally debilitating you. No one wants to share their aspirations or pain with someone who is a critical, arrogant know-it-all.

Some of your best friends may not be the people you run around with all the time. They actually may be those people you just see occasionally, but when you do see them, there is a peaceful bond of respect, love and open dialogue.

A real friend will try to come to you if you need them. A real friend will help problem-solve with the assurance that whatever you are talking about won’t go any further. A real friend can keep your secrets, if you have any. A real friend will not stab you in the back or cut your throat. An old friend of mine who has passed on had this saying about an acquaintance: “He would cut his mother’s throat to get ahead.” Keep this in mind: if someone has stabbed you in the back before, they are likely to do it again. If he or she has fooled you once, then shame on them. If you allow them to fool you twice, then shame on you.

Life can be interesting with the people we encounter along the way. We meet a lot of good people. We meet some who are not so great. It’s critical to our well-being that we are able to know the difference — and the sooner, the better.

Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13 He certainly did that.

Give thanks today for your friend, or friends. It’s always good to make a new friend, and it’s certainly worthwhile to maintain an old one, if it’s a good one.

(Glenn Mollette offers commonsense and practical solutions to many of America’s and the world’s problems. Mollette is published throughout the United States. He is a syndicated columnist and founder of Newburgh Theological Seminary, Indiana.)